"I am in charge of how I feel and today, I choose to be happy."
Moving out on my own has shown me so much about myself. From this experience, I've learned that for a student, living in the city is crazy expensive and that to make it work, you have to "hustle." I've learned that we only have one life to live and that its important to make EVERY second count. On more than one occasion, I've been caught at the crossroads between these two: "surviving" and "living life."
Just last week, I had a teeny tiny quarter-life crisis about the whole thing where I asked myself: What are you doing? I mulled about my latest decisions in life and the situations I've placed myself in. I realized that its near insanity to move out when only working a part-time job and having only a couple grand to my name! (A couple grand hardly covers initial moving costs in NYC!) I began worrying about how I was going to figure out my future, my job, my near and distant goals. I even cried a little over the exhaustion that had seeped into my bones after working seven days a week! I told myself that I didn't want to deal with it anymore, didn't want to "adult" anymore and, I'll admit, complained about having to do things for myself.
It was on the corner of Bedford Avenue and North 6th Street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn that I decided that I'd be happy! I realized that, yes, happiness is a feeling and feelings come and go, but its also something that I could decide to feel. I decided not to let the craziness of my life effect my life. Yes, there may be nights where I'll shed tears and days when I'm "so over it" but in the midst of all that, I decided, in advance to be happy.
How? After making that resolution to be happy, I then mulled over how I was going to choose to be happy. How could I decided to be happy when my world was falling apart? How could I choose to be happy when I felt alone or afraid? I came to the conclusion that all I can do is think on a all that is going right for me right now!
Why be happy? Because I'm alive! Because even though I'm in a weird stage in life when I'm unsure of what I'm doing, I'm making strides to figuring things out. Because I have friends and family who support my dreams and push me to achieve them.
So, will you decided to be happy? I know, it won't always be easy, but its always worth it
xoxo, Kianna Rose
